On the eighth day of Christmas, my kitten helped me...

On the eighth day of Christmas, my kitten helped me...

Replace my E and G guitar strings. Would you believe a kitten
could fit into the itty-bitty hole in the middle of my Yamaha
guitar? Neither could I, but Sara thought so. And she succeeded
once she got those rascally strings out of the way.
Unfortunately, her little rear end couldn't get out the way I
came in. After paying through the whiskers for her previous
escapades, I would have been willing to leave her in the guitar
for the duration of the holiday season, except that she chose to
get stuck two hours before I was due at the nursing home for our
annual Christmas carol sing-a-long. Set of steel guitar strings:
$12.95; jar of petroleum jelly: 79 cents.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my kitten destroyed for me...

My Christmas card list when she walked across my computer's
delete key. Cost for call to Computer Country's 900/help line:
$17.50. And I still don't know what happened to the listings of B
through H.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my kitten hid from me.....

The remote control from my 13-inch TV. This wouldn't be such a
disaster if she hadn't previously stolen the power knob. I missed
a week's worth of Christmas specials, including my all-time
favorite, "It's a Wonderful Life." Rental of "It's a Wonderful
Life": $2; purchase of book, "Good owners, great cats": $24.95.
Unfortunately, it never mentions the psychological profile of
kittens with kleptomania.